My heart beats because of ions

So today I spent most of the day in the library studying the heart and blood. I'm getting ready for the test coming up. It amazes me how the body works. It usually comes down to chemistry. I never though I would say this but I'm starting to like chemistry. Well organic and biochemistry, mostly biochemistry.

Most people know that the heart uses electrical impulses to contract. Well did you know that the electrical current is spread across the cells by ions that cross the cell membrane and ions that are blocked form crossing. That's it potassium ion channels close and calcium channels open to allow the calcium to enter the cell. That is what excites the cell to make it contract. Its so crazy! I love the human body it really is amazing!

Chicken Marsala, the state liqour store and the onset of Dehydration (the chemical process not the illness)

So tonight I had a little dinner party with some of my old roommates. It was so fun to hang out with everyone. Any way so I decided to make chicken marsala. Well it has wine in it. I looked long and hard for a substitute for the wine. I learned a lot about chicken marsala including what makes chicken marsala chicken marsala is the the marsala wine. I toyed with idea of purchasing the wine. I was mostly worried about how my Friends would feel about it. I myself didn't think it would matter, but you never know if others don't mind. After thinking about it and searching another recipe I wanted to explore I decided chicken marsala was the winner.

So the next thing I had to tackle was purchasing the wine. In Utah you can only by liquor at the state liquor store. So I go there and all I see is bottles and bottles of wine. I barely saw anything other than wine. I looked for signs to tell me how things were organized. I found no such signs. I'm sure there is some kind of system, I just didn't get it. So I start to glanch at the names. Well everything was in cursive (why cursive, no one uses cursive unless you went to school when girls had to wear dresses) so I had to read every bottle to figure out what was what. Being so unfamiliar with wine and liqour stores I just asked for help. I then purchased the two wines in the chicken marsala. I can say that they do card (I always wonder if they do).

Because I was concerned about if my friend would be ok with the alcoholic marinade. All I could think about was the chemical process the alcohol needed to go through in order for the dish be void of alcohol. I wasn't just thinking of reactants and products, no that is too simple for BYU chemistry. I was thinking of electrons. Where did the electrons move from and to. I wish I could say that is was this cool animated video in my head but it wasn't. It was me watching my hand write out the mechanism step by step on lined paper in my notebook. Maybe I'll make the dish right before my final because it felt like I was studying while I was cooking.

Luckily the dinner was a success. I even surprised my self. It was good! I was going to just trow away the wine when I was done with it but I think that I'm going to keep it for future chicken marsla dinners. So once again I experienced something new and couldn't help to think of the scientific processes involve in what I was doing.

Hip Hop is Really Not Dead!

So many of you know that I love rap and Hip Hop. It used to be for just the fun of dancing. However starting in high school I started to search out the rap that was more on the poetic side. I fell in love with some old mc's such as the Fugees and Nas. I even like some of the old 2Pac, when he didn't rap about killing people to protect his hood.

When I came home from my mission I enjoyed that pop hip hop as much as the next person. As I get older I need more substance to music than just a good time. I need poetry. I started to leave the hip hop world and entered cheesy world of country. I love country its fun and has great messages. Some country artist are funny and a little poetic. Then I entered the emo world where poetry meets tune. I became addicted to a great musical poet Chris Carrabba of Dashboard Confessional. Wow his lyrics are great and tell stories of the soul. His melodies also tell stories. He is a true artist. I also enjoyed other great musical poets such as Jack Johnson, Death Cab for Cutie, Postal Service and other artists.

As much as I love Dashboard and Jack I was missing the poetic nature of hip hop. I listened to the Fugees, Nas, and even Eminem. I know that name scares a lot of people but his non commercial songs are good. I was limited to this small library that I have listened to since high school. Then I came across K'Naan on vh1. I was first intrigued by his sound. He has the sound and feel of Wycleif and Bob Marley (another great musical poet) and the sophistication in his lyrics of Eminem (I always have admired Eminem's word usage, he doesn't make up words and sounds educated). I decided to research K'Naan.

My research has proven K'Naan worthy to be called a musical poet. His music focuses on global awareness, promotes non violence, and tries to kill the need to be "hood" or "hardcore" in the world of Hip Hop. His music has substance and lacks "I'm the s***!" crap or "Lets have sex" rhetoric. Unfortunately he still is explicit at times.

K'Naan is from Somalia and lacks clothes 10 times to big. He came to America while his country was in civil war. He later settled in Ontario, Canada. He only learned English two years before his first album release. He learned English from primarily listening to rap and hip hop. His career started because he had a gig at the United Nations High Commissioners of Refugees. He performed a spoken poem criticizing the UN for their fails attempts to help his country. His poem captured the eye of singer. He started to get noticed by others and joined tours until he released his first album.

I am so excited to have anew artist hip hop artist to listen to that uses poetry in his lyrics. I know some say that rap and hip hop is not poetry, well, I strongly disagree. Rap and Hip Hop started as a musical way to speak about politic. Rap contains poetic elements. Until I discovered K'Naan I thought hip hop was dead. I am glad it still lives in K'Naan.

So I decided to add lyrics to one of my favorites so far from listening to him.

Take a Minute

And any man who knows a thing knows, he knows not a damn, damn thing at all, And everytime I felt the hurt and I felt the givin' gettin' me up off the wall, I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride, I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze, I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride, I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze, How did Mandela get the will to surpass the everyday, When injustice had him caged and trapped in every way, How did Ghandi ever withstand the hunger strikes and all, Didn't do it to gain power or money if I recall, It's to give; I guess I'll pass it on, Mother thinks it'll lift the stress of babylon, Mother knows, my mother she suffered blows, I don't know how we survived such violent episodes, I was so worried, and hurt to see you bleed, But as soon as you came out the hospital you gave me sweets, Yeah, they try to take you from me, But you still only gave 'em some prayers and sympathy, Dear mama, you helped me write this, by showing me to give is priceless. {Chorus} All I can say is the worst is over now, We can serve the hard times, divorce is over now, They try to keep us out, but they doors is open now, My ****** Akon is gettin awards for covers now, This is K'NAAN, and still reppin' the IS (?) Comin' out of Mogadishu and still draped in the mess, And no matter how we strong, homie, It ain't easy comin out of where we from, homie. And that's the reason why, I could never play for me, Tell 'em the truth, is what my dead homies told me, Oh yeah, I take inspiration from the most heinous of situations, Creating medication out my own tripulations. Dear Africa, you helped me write this, by showing me to give is priceless. {Chorus} Nothing is perfect man, that's what the world is, All I know is, I'm enjoying today. You know, 'cause it isn't everybody that you get to give.

I Heard That!

So I watched Obama's address to congress. Wow it was amazing! I was studying today for some tests and really was struggling to stay focused. I forgot that he was going to speak today. Luckily this morning I received a text reminding me to tune in. I am so glad I did! So I thought I would talk about the points I loved. I didn't catch all of it. My roommate kept talking to me during the speech.

So my first point was from the following quote:

The answers to our problems don't lie beyond our reach. They exist in our laboratories and our universities, in our fields and our factories, in the imaginations of our entrepreneurs and the pride of the hardest-working people on Earth.

I like that he points out the answer is in us. It is not in the government. We have to make changes to help the economy to survive. Now all you republicans I don't think that the government should be devoid of involvement. I think the government should govern. The government can hand out money, however the government can not force us to action. We ultimately have to make the decisions that add up to bring back our economy. We ultimately are the answers and need to step up. We work on developing new renewable energy sources, educate ourselves, and control our spending better.

So the next thing I would like to talk about how he talked about the countries economic history. He talked about how the growth was not due to government supplant to private sectors. It provided opportunities for business to flourish. By helping "the man" (yes I am using this cliche, it works and its in lower case to show my disrespect) we are not adding to the middle class we are depleting it.

So then I loved the whole energy segment! We have for too long been ignoring, procrastinating, however you wanna label it, the energy issues. I was once part of the problem. I dreamed of driving a big truck. I do dream of a truck but know I have to do my part keep my carbon foot print low. Its sad that we are not leading in the world in trying to find a environmentally safe form of energy. We invented solar energy and we use it less than too many other countries. I tried to get recycling to come to my condo but the HOA won't allow it. That is insane! I have found a place to take my recycling thankfully. There is not any place to recycle glass in the state of Utah. That is a disgrace.

So moving on to health care. Wow this is something that I am passionate about. I love medicine! Those who are reading this most likely know I am going to be a doctor. I have struggled with my insurance company to cover important health problems I face, but they will not. It sickens me that BYU, that has an alarming high rate in mental illnesses, does not provide coverage for mental illnesses in it insurance. Yes BYU offers free counseling. I appreciate it very much and have benefit from this service. However when I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt. It was not covered in my insurance. So I had to pay and am still paying the 5,000 dollar bill. BYU should be above the standard. Unfortunately it is not in so many cases (such as sports, housing situation, honor code). Now lets talk about health care cost. Wow 5,000 dollars for two and half days. I can spend less on a weeks vacation to the Caribbean and it would have been better for my depression than the situation I was in. The cost is out of control. I know insurance companies or "the man" are mostly to blame, but I know doctors need to take a stand! Lawsuits are also to blame for the cost, seriously people stop blaming doctors. The truth is they often work so hard to serve us and people are just waiting to attack them. Any way back to the cost. The cost needs to be controlled because health care is a necessity. Now the other problem is health care should be focused more on preventive care! Hello that will save money in the long run. Not only will it save in health care costs. It will help the economy if we Americans are healthier we will be able to perform at our jobs better. I want to be a doctor that treats illness and prevents them by providing preventive health care.

So that was long. If you are still with me I'm going to move on to education. Obama challenged every American to complete one more year of schooling. Wow that is so great. We need to follow that advise. Now I know it won't change my lifestyle because I am a student already. I also loved how he said that education starts in our homes. That is the problem with our poorly educated society its not those hard working underpaid teachers! We must teach our children to learn. To love learning, to always be open to learning new things. My sisters are great at teaching their kids these principles. I don't know how they do it but their kids are constantly trying to learn. The Shanafelt kids wow. One always reads. One always draws and loves to learn about the planet. Even one of their games revolves around the educational series Planet Earth. One can't stop exploring technology (he doesn't even speak) and the other just all over the place and loves to learn. Then the Wrights wow! The oldest is always looking to learn something new and is teaching his younger siblings what he learns and encourages them to learn. Then the Kitchen's they are very concerned about leaning in school. One of their daughters is going to be the debate champion. I can go on but this is long.

So I can go on some more but this post is long enough. The moral of the story is as Americans we need to use conservative spending and improve our work performance. We know how we can cut our spending. We can improve our work performance by more education, healthier bodies, and teaching our children to do the same!

Planet Earth

So I have been watching Planet Earth these past couple of days. Wow I love it! It is so cool that all the shots they got. Not only is the filming amazing they also tell a story with the animals, plants and mother nature. On of my favorite parts is the birds of paradise. So here is a link to the Birds of Paradise. You should watch it. If you wanny watch the series come on over and watch it with me. I would love to share it with you!
http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/planet-earth-jungles-birds-of-paradise-display.html

I am not an Eskimo

So I went decided I wanted to go snow shoeing and found a friend to go with me. I didn't realize it was so hard! It was like when my tennis coach would have us do sprints in the sand pit. I was rewarding though and I want to do it again. It made me realize how out of shape I have gotten. I have to get back into shape! So here are some pictures of the adventure!

Visiting spring during the winter.

So these are pictures of My excursion to Mesa! It was fun. I got to spend time with Liz, g0 hiking, and even the zoo!

This is Sedona

Liz enjoying the view

We had to cross the water a lot and there were no bridges. Sometimes it was frozen so we walked on the ice.

This is a Baboon. He looks like he is contemplating... in anger.

A tiger drinking water wondering why this was entertaining so many people.

I love Family Guy

What are we fighting for?

So I just watched the movie Horton Hears a Who. It was my the second time I saw it. It is such a good movie. If I had children I would definitely have them watch it. The message is amazing. "A person's a person no matter how small." That phrase is the obvious lesson from the movie, but I think there is another tangent to that lesson. I was amazed at Horton's treatment for Jane the Kangaroo after she was proven wrong. He truly showed that a person is a person no matter how wrong. Even though people wrong us they are people that need love. This is a hard thing to do. I know all can relate to Horton's situation.

Horton's situation got me thinking about what my influence on the world. Its hard to think that one person can make a difference. There is so much that needs to be done to make this world a better place. Its hard to believe that one shipment of food will stop the hunger for a village in the quest to stop world hunger. Or a few boxes of blankets will save a freezing town. Its quite depressing to think that what you are able offer isn't enough.

Then I saw an ad for some non profit organization that reminded me that even if I just help one person that was worth it. The thing to remember is our actions have immediate effects and long term effects, much like anything put in our bodies. When we eat food we have the immediate satisfaction of removing hunger and hopefully the enjoying the stimulation of our senses. The long term effects could be added protein to build muscle, more calcium to store to help prevent osteoporosis, or maybe LDL builds up in your arteries. When we give someone a dollar or two outside of the grocery store we helped to satisfy a small need and started a hopefully infectious characteristic in someone else. As we show others we care they will care and our world will be filled with more love.

I know that there are people who want to put the put the pipe down because I'm being unrealistic. Well I say to them I don't smoke and I am being realistic. Christ saved the world with love and so must we. I know that we won't be able to reach the Utopia that we all desire anytime soon. But like Lunch from Across the Universe said to Jude, "Don't you think its worth trying."

Sometimes we need to focus on the big picture, but when we are trying to save the world we need to focus on small details. As we work on those small details we will create a beautiful portrait of Charity. Charity is what's important. Charity gives hope, passion, fulfillment and purity. So don't forget that no matter how hard it is to do the right thing in the end the right thing will never disappoint you.

Please can I have a Time Machine?

So tonight my mind is on what are my true fears. Some people are afraid spiders,hieghts,or even ninjas. I'm not afraid of those things. I'm not even afraid of the dark. I guess most people aren't afraid of those things. It's cliche to think men are afraid of commitment,which is true a lot of the time. Then there is the fear of death. I can honestly say that I'm not afraid to die. In fact I would see it as a blessing most of the time. I know that will freak out my family. So know I don't want end it myself.

I guess to me death would be end of my real fear. The future is my true fear. Its what makes me afraid to commit in a relationship. I keeps me afraid to promise others anything. But the most damaging symptom of this fear is it stops me from acting. When I say acting I mean doing things like school work, job hunting and sometimes eating. In a normal day the fear really only shows through my undicisiveness. on tyose days where my anxiety is present its hard for me concentrate on school. The days wheremy anxiety is high I can't even get out of bed. I know where it comes from but that is not what is important. The important thing for me is learn to push through the anxiety and fear. That is how I will overcome my fear of the unknown.

The good news is that I know what my real fear is and I have come a long way already. Tye even better news is that Jesus is on my side. So like I said before the only cure is to move foward and hope for the best even if my hope isn't much.

We Need More Love... Not War!

So I was thinking a lot about Medical school today. I am so excited to become a doctor. I used to be so attracted to the money and stable lifestyle. As I get older I seem to care less about what I money I make and more about what I create. A better way to word it is. As the more mature I get the more I care about how I can create a better world everyone rather than a better world for my future family and I. I would love to do a lot of humanitarian aid across the world. I know that the demand for this kind of service will get more and more needed. I am excited to eventually be apart of a greater good.

The good thing is I know my family will be right on board with me. I know I have at least one sister and her family, and my brothers on board with me. I just want to show others in our country that we can better lives around the world with out war. I hear about great things that are happening in Iraq from my military friends. However these things have been happening for years without the presence of war. When I watch movies like Hotel Rwanda and Blood Diamond. I think of how we as Americans have really not been a responsible world leader. We need to use our wealth to help help others. I'm sure that many would call me a hippie, well so be it. I'll be a hippie, but I think the modern term is an activist. I understand that not everyone feels we should get involved but I feel we need to at least provide basic needs to our less fortunate world partners. No matter what lifestyle a person has chosen or born into that person deserves to have the basics. The Lord blesses us so that we can bless others.

I love the human body. I want to be a doctor so I can help people better there lives. However the Lord is blessing me with the opportunity to be a doctor and I must use that gift to improve the lives of others. I want to be involved in the solution of our health care system. I don't have the knowledge I need yet but I am on my way.

Lucky You!

I wanted something for free, so now I've gotta give.Lucky you! The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2. What I create will be just for you.
3. It'll be done this year.
4. You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be poetry or maybe even some creation I haven't even invented yet. I may draw or paint something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange. The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must repost this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog. The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me!
* * *Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it!

Can We Forget the Things I Said When I Was Drunk?

Do any of you know that song by lit, My own worst enemy. I'm sure some of you do. Its crazy how that is true for all of us. I have a test that starts on Friday and I can't seem to get my self to study. I need to well on this test. This is just one of many examples in my life where I have stopped myself from being who I should be. At the end of day I have to ask my self was it enough? Will my lack of accomplishments stop my dreams from coming true? I guess I just have to trust that if I honestly have tried things will work out.
If any of you thought "that sounds like the end of a scrubs episode." It most likely because that was my intent.

Posting Comments

Well for those of you who can't leave a comment. Maybe its time you joined the blessed world of gmail. So if you want to join gmail please email me at mrkmay@gmail.com and let me know that you want to invited to gmail.

Who am I a doctor, space traveler, or Bear Grylls

So I had a crazy dream last night I fought I'd share. So just so you know I have really weird dreams and the often have important things missing. So I was some kind of space traveler and was traveling with a couple of people to this planet that has been deserted for years. We get there and we go into this building and then we get attacked by ghosts. One of the guys gets killed by the ghost.
Then the dream jumps to a different time and I am on the island. The planet turned into an island. I am in the building was over run by plants and stuff. Kind of like in I am Legend. So my character is no longer a space traveler. I am now a mix between Bear Grylls (the guy from Man vs. Wild) and the Crocodile Hunter. In the building I am giving a tour of the building and talking about all the dangerous animals that exist. As I'm discussing the dangers of a snake and a 6 foot poisonous alligator. I get bit by the snake. Then I precede to to explain to the group that the snake released a venom that contains chemicals that affect the nervous system. I precede to tell them that chemicals in the venom block bonding sites for neurotransmitters preventing my skeletal muscles from working. I am teaching this as I am loosing my ability to use my legs. Then...
Then the building becomes an ultra modern hospital. I am a doctor now and treating a patient in the pediatric ward. I am carrying a bottle cap and it starts to glow. I see the ghost that killed the space traveler in one of the doctors. The bottle cap glows when one of the ghosts is near. The ghost knows that I am the one to slay him. How you might ask. I have to hold the plastic glowing bottle cap against the host body of the ghost. I run down the stairs as I get closer to the ghost my strength decreases and makes it really hard to move (much like in Lord of the Rings). So I get to the bottom of the stairs and the ghost runs up another flight of stairs and tells me telepathically that he is going to through this little girl of the stairs to me. I am trying to move but the evil forces are somehow paralyzing me. So I yell out Noooooo! Well I didn't exactly yell out no. I yelled out ooooooh. You see I realized I was dreaming at this point and I new that I would yell no out in real life and wake up my roommates. Ask Brian I tend to yell out things in my sleep. So I was desperately trying to stop my self from yelling no. I couldn't quite stop it completely that is why I yelled out oooooh softly and all weird like.
The end.

Jack versus the World

So I just watched the latest episode of 24! Watching 24 is my monday night ritual. I usually skip FHE but I went because I had an assignment. That's how they get ya. Of course I excused my self just before the testosterone filled hour. This season isn't much different than the rest. It has many of the same twists and plot elements that existed in the previous seasons. The show has become very predictible. However I still find myself every monday excited for 8 o'clock when I will see Jack Bauer kick terriorist ass! So if you want to talk to me I may not answer my phone. If you wanna drop by, please do, but remember to refrain from talking during the program. Its not because I don't like you. I just want to watch Jack.

Shh don't tell my Professor that I'm blogging

So I'm in my religion class right now. I am not a fan of this class. You would think that I would be to worried about blogging in this class, but I'm not. Even though we are treated like high school students and have assigned seating it looks like I'm taking notes. Yes I'm one of those students who only takes notes on the laptop.
So this we are supposed to discuss the words of the current leaders of the church. We do discuss their talks, articles, etc. However we only discuss a very bias interpretation of those words. My professor doesn't allow room for intelligent conversation about the passages. It frustrates me so much. I have to participate to receive a good grade but all we seem to discuss is Mormon judiaistic laws. I would like to discuss more about Christ and how we can become more like him. A couple of classes ago she told us that in the invocation to the class we needed to pray to get marriage. While I have nothing wrong with praying for marriage. I do have issues of being told what to pray and to be told to publicly pray for personal matters.
I wish I felt comfortable to bring up my own interpretations of the passages we discuss. However when your professor is stuck on do's and don't of being a latter day saint, its hard believe that your comments will not be followed by scorning and judging.
Don't get me wrong I have a very strong testimony of the restored gospel. In fact it is my testimony that keeps me going on through my current condition. I just think that in the church to many people focus on the do's and do nots of Mormonism (I call them judaistic laws). I feel the the focus should be on becoming Christlike. I realize that these do's and do not's intent are to help a person become Christlike, but doing all the do's and refraining from the do not's does not make a person Christlike. I used to focus on them so much. Because I am not perfect, this focus would make me feel like I was a horrible person. So I started to focus on my intent. I realized although I make mistakes my intent is in line with Christs. That is what is important. Now that I focus on becoming more Christlike I am able to take the counsel of the leaders of the church and see how this counsel can help me be more Christlike. This plan works much better. My checklist of do's and don't before would just grow and grow. It was overwhelming. Now I create a checklist of things that help me an idividual with individual problems. So far I feel like I have become a much healthier person mentally and spiritually:)

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

Well this is my first time I have ever blogged before. I thought it was kind of weird but I think it could be really therapeutic for me. I got the idea because a friend blogs and it helps her a lot with all that she is going through. I don't think that I'll be the kind of blogger that tells what's going on. My life isn't too eventful. I'll probably just talk about things on my mind. So here it goes...

Tonight my mind is on my future. More specifically when will I be able to get married and be able to have kids. This is on my mind a lot but is very present right now because I just finished watching Baby Mama. For those of you who haven't seen the movie its so good. You should watch it. I want a family so bad right now! Its pretty abnormal for me, being a guy, to be baby hungry. Then again I'm not really the stereotypical guy. All I have is my nieces and nephews. I milk it all I can. I have tons of pictures of them on my magnetic board and a bunch of their art work on my bedroom door. Its not the same as having your own child I now but I have to settle for what I can get. Children are really a blessing from God. I don't know why exactly I love kids so much. Maybe its their innocence or their carefree nature or the fact that they love the best.

The first thing that I need to work on is finding someone to start a family with. I long for the companionship that I see my friends have. I really want to come home to someone I love and just cuddle and talk about our day. I wish I had someone that at the end of the day I could rub her feet to help her relax. Listen to my wife talk about her stressful day and then comfort her. I want to do those thing not because I like to rub feet or hear someone complain. I want all that because I want a relationship where unconditional love prevails. I don't just want to love someone unconditionally but be loved by someone unconditionally in a non-platonic way.

I guess I have to just keep looking for someone I can share eternity with. Unfortunately I don't think I'm patient enough.