Tuesday, June 30, 2009

We Don't Need No More Truouble

So tonight I watched a great movie. The movie is called Amazing Grace. It was an excellent film with a even better story to tell. I know some of you who have seen it are like "What?! Mark you just now saw it!" Well I agree with you it is my type of movie and I loved it. Today was a good day to watch it too. Earlier today at work I was teased by my co-workers, nothing out of the ordinary. I always get teased about my ideals and convictions. I'm sure that they think I am naive to stand by some of the things I say. Any way we stopped at Wal-mart for soap for washing windows. Many of you know I have personally boycott Wal-mart. I knew there was going to be teasing. As usual I try to control it. So I set them up so that I could control it. This method usually works, but today I ruined it. The problem is I sometimes take things to seriously, especially when I am tired. I was definitely tired today.
Any way I got frustrated because my friend/co-worker was saying that Wal-mart was no different than Smith's or Target or any other big corporation. To a degree he is right. However he doesn't seem to understand why I hate Wal-mart. Wal-mart doesn't only hurt small business in rural America, but the corporation lies, cheats, and takes advantage of the poor citizens in not only our country but others. I have read and heard too many stories of Wal-mart's horrible management.
I don't want this to be a rant about Wal-mart so I'll move on. What was upsetting to me is that his attitude was so pessimistic. Many, like the dumb ass Sean Hanity, would say that my friend was just being a realist. I think that there is a difference between a realist and pessimist. A realist sees the world as it really is. Our world is filled with corrupt people. The difference between a realist and a pessimist is that a pessimist sees that person/ or thing as unchangeable. A realist sees that person or thing as stubborn but definitely not changeable. Isn't that the whole point of agency is to change who you are to a better you? Realism is not accepting things the way they are but realizing that everything can change.
The movie Amazing Grace reaffirmed to me the true meaning of realism and strengthen my convictions to change what I can. To all those that think that Obama is just our campfire leader leading us in a song of Kumbaya remember that Love is the best motivator to become better. That is what Christ taught us. So many love and follow him because he loved us so much. Like Bob Marley says "One love, one heart lets get together and feel alright."

Saturday, June 20, 2009

This is a Public Service Announcement!

This is a public service announcement to provide warning. Mark May's iPod is DEAD! It happened approximately at 8:21 this morning while Mark was jogging on the Provo river trail. Mark was running and thought his battery had died. Mark has since then charged it and is not functioning at the moment. Due to this crisis you may want be easy on Mark. When Mark doesn't have his daily dose of poetic music he may become irritable. You may need to approach him with caution. Mark becomes unpredictable and can attack at any moment. Also do not ask him to spend money. All extra money will be saved until he has raised enough to purchase a new iPod. If you follow these instructions you might remain unharmed. However you just don't know what Mark is capable of. Thank you and take great caution.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I know This is Late but Who the Hell Cares as Long as You Get to See Them

If you would go hiking you could stare at this while you are just living.

Seriously no landscaper can recreate this in someones yard.

The best flowers are natural

This was random

Once again landscapers have tried and cam close to recreating this but they always fail.

Many People Don't Know that California is Where my Roots Are.

This is an Awesome Oak tree just out in the hills by Concord. There were "happy" cows of California. I didn't think they were too happy, look at their food.

This is the awesome veiw of the hills in Concord

This is at the Marina. My Grandpa helped build that bridge!

This is a freakin sweet Tree!
This is a sea lion relaxing at Peir 39. Peir 39 was my favorite

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Back to Provo, Depression and Loneliness

So I just got back from California. Wow was it an adventure! I had a great time and am so glad to be home in Provo. We only took on fun day in San Fran, but I enjoyed everything (except knocking doors). I do have pictures and I'll put them up sometime. Any way I just wanted to note a couple of things. First it was so nice to have a friend to hang out with, even if it we were working the whole time. I know I have friends but they are all married so I don't get to spend as much time with them as I like. I guess I could be a pest and come over all the time, but no one likes that. It was so nice to get to know someone better and have great meaningful discussions. Even if I'm not so smart and experienced.
Second it was so nice to see my friend Jeff re-unite with his family. I could tell that he missed them a lot. When we pulled in to his drive way and his wife saw him she was so excited. His boys were just as excited to see him. I could tell that Jeff was a great father and husband, no matter what he thinks.
It was really nice to see that reunion. I want that in my life someday. A family that I can devote my life to. Whether I end up having the traditional family (i.e. father, mother, daughter and son) or a more nontraditional family (me and those I help in far away countries) I want that same unconditional love with someone I care for and about. But until that day when I feel like I can connect with others on a full time basis. I will continue to travel this road of life a lone. As for right now I'm going to watch south park to block the nociceptor of my emotional network.

Monday, June 15, 2009

I'm Just Gonna Take a Minute.

So I know I just blogged but I'm going to do it again. So I had a great discussion with my friend Jeff mostly about inner moral conflicts. I really enjoyed the discussion because I now understand him and know him more. By learning about him and his feelings and thoughts I was able to correct some of my thoughts and feelings. I know my logic is not perfect and I find many contradictions. So I always try to look for ways to make my logic more correct.
After discussing many topics with Jeff I have learned some good ways to correct my logic. I have learned a greater understanding of the south and its past and current situation. I feel much more comfortable with the confederate flag and most importantly I re learned that I need to broaden my understanding of others.
The best part of the discussion with Jeff is that I felt like I mattered and made a difference while talking to him. I never know if I'll ever come out of this depression, but its nice to hear someone still think you are worth it when you feel you aren't worth shit. I want to thank him for his friendship and hope that I will gain the courage soon. But if not and he reads this. Then I'd like to say "thank you, Jeff. You have helped me more than you realize. Your assistance seemed to b e involuntary because it didn't seem like you trying to help me. I felt like you were just being yourself. Thank you."
Every night I go to bed and wish death by morning. However, tonight I look forward to a morning where I will accomplish great things, be successful and do it all alive.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Emancipate Yourself from Mental Slavery!

So this week I ended up in California. To catch everyone up its raining a lot in Utah and therefore there is no work. So I was invited to go to Concord, California to wash windows. (they pronounce Concord like conquered) Jeff and I are staying at his in-laws house. They are so nice to let us stay here. It has been so wonderful. They are gourmet cooks and treat Jeff and I like royalty. They are great people, but I'm in a dilemma.
You see these people are pretty Conservative. As you may have guessed I am not. I am proud to be liberal. I want to just talk about my political views in the open but I tested the waters and they would get pretty bad if I let my views be known. So I'm going to release some of this right now here it goes:
I love Obama, I think our health care system primarily caters to the upper middle class and the rich. I think the Iraq war does not help the greater good. Everyone should recycle and treat our planet with more respect. We should be more worried about other than filling our fat asses with money and crappy foods. We need to empty our bellies and feed those in other countries who need food, not destroy their land and way of life. I believe that Love and Education are the only things that will rid us of hate. And yes I think that we need to study stem cell research and the abortion laws are great. I don't care if the legalize marijuana or gay marriage. No I don't think if we governed our country the way the founding fathers started. (Seriously that's why they didn't make the constitution so rigid). So to all you other liberals that are oppressed its OK. We are not just some unrealistic hippies that want to sing around the campfire. We know reality we see it every damn day of our lives but we know reality can be so much greater for so many other people. So long live Bob Marely ideals and Ghandi's principles. Most of all Praise Jesus for teaching us Love really does conquer all! (please excuse the cliche)