Thursday, July 30, 2009


So today I thought a lot about the song "Disenchanted" by My Chemical Romance. I just wanted to understand it better because I love it. I know what thoughts and feelings it provokes in me, but I wanted to understand the thoughts and feelings of the author. So after analyzing the lyrics and musical tones. I really think that this song is an exchange between two people one the teacher and the other the student. I think the teacher is frustrated because his or her pupil is not getting the message. The teacher knows what will help the student, but is not being received.
The melody I think brings a sense of hopelessness. I think this comes from the student. I think the student knows the teacher is right but thinks its too late to change. Now the student is stuck in the same pattern of decisions and will have to live with consequences. The student has become disenchanted. He felt like before his life was a grand skeptical of fun and excitement, or dare I say enchantment. However he realizes a lot of his overly positive out look took him from reality and now he has to get back to happy medium.
The lyrics cry out desperation for change while the melody crys personal failure. I know that is how things are in life. We can be logically explained principles but we cannot live by them unless we feel those principles. Sometimes the only way to get the feel of these principles is by experience.
That is where disenchanted comes in. At times in our lives we have moments where we are hit by the reality of our poor choices. We are no longer in a state of personal acceptance. However we are in a state of "disenchantment." We are no longer living a dream, but a nightmare. Unfortunately I am in the season where enchantment left and I am with a glass half empty. Some how I have to find my fairytale plot line live with my half full glass.
I'm have a sleep right now so hopefully it makes sense.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

My Campsite and Going down the Glacier

Living the life of a Mountain Goat

A view while hiking to the top.

This is a Picture at the top of a Mountain.

A nice view of flowers... my phone can only do so much.

This is where I camped

Some more Flowers.

I camped among these goats... there were many more goats.

I love flowers... I wish I had better pictures.

I love this ground cover

A picture of me along the way.

Something you could enjoy if you go on the same hike.

These flowers were everywhere toward the summit.

This is me at the top of Timp. You can see Utah county.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Will I Die Championless?

So tonight I'm full of a lot of emotions. It started out as anger. My lazy ass roommate Bryce can't seem to clean up after himself after his huge meal last night with his girlfriend. His girlfriend had to come help him clean his room. Seriously he is like a little child. Then I was angry because I drove all the way to REI and it was closed. Although I am very angry I am also very depressed. I don't want my sentence of Hell to be over. I thought I was doing well this summer but obviously I am not. What else does God want from me. What else can I do. It doesn't help that I live with someone who I trusted and sacrificed so much for turned out to be a big ass hole. I am reminded of the pain he caused and is still causing every day.
So here I am again lying in bed fighting sleep to avoid the awful dreams that will come. Being so tired I won't be able to fight it off for too long. My energy to keep doing the right thing is fading fast. These obsessive thoughts create lengthy battles within my neurons. My only defence from the urges to bleed is to remind myself that I'd probably have to explain the bandages. I guess I'll keep up the "Good Fight" and hope that I don't wake up again.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Wow! I Thought Tea Parties Were Meant to be an Event Full of Love, Happiness and Acceptance.

So today I was just browsing my friends facebook pages. I came across some pictures that an old friend had where she and her family attended the Denver Tea Party. This is the first time I heard of this. I must have missed this in the news because of finals week. I read the signs that the protester made. They seemed to be anti-Obama rhetoric. So I had to do more investigation. I read about it for a little while. I quickly realized that this was associated with the ultra conservatives. This may be too judgemental of me but it seemed like the dumb ass Sean Hanity would have loved to be there.
So I just wanted to share my feelings about some of the signs. First the one my friends were holding. "Don't Mortgage My Child's Future" My response well if Bush didn't ruin Clinton's hard work to get us out of debt maybe we wouldn't have to borrow so much money. The next sign I want to comment about is "Can I just send my Taxes to China?" A sarcastic wow is appropriate here. Another sign Keep your Change "I'll keep my freedom, Guns, and Money" Well if we kept up with Bush's plan China would own us. Obama will never take away our freedom, come on people he doesn't have that much power. Try learning about the way the government works. If you want to keep you freedom then you need to give up some of your money to the government to help it run and so that China won't own us. As far as the guns I do agree I think that guns should be regulated but not so hard to own. I support peoples right to own a gun, even if I have no desire to own one myself. So the next sign that needs to be commented on says "Don't tax me, Bro!" I don't know if you realized that but it takes money to have a good government and all the programs many people enjoy. We have one of the lowest taxes in the world, please educate your self. If you don't want to mortgage your child's future then you are going to have to pay more taxes.
So I don't know how much my friend has thought about these views she hold or her explanations. However if her arguments are like Sean Hanity's then she needs to study the truth and re asses her views. I realize many are afraid of Obama's plans and that is ok. That is what is so great about America, we are free to have and express our opinions. Obama won't change that. Lets be more rational and logical. Speak and think with your heart and don't forget your mind. They need to work together. So to end this blog we need another sarcastic Wow for all those Sean Hanitys out there in America.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I'm Sorry You Parents Have Trouble Controling Your Kids, But Don't Put That Evil on Me.

So I volunteered at the Freedom Days on the fourth. I have in the past and I liked it. This time I had a rough day. I'm guessing it was as rough as it was because I didn't eat much that day. So I was first put on duty at the Jumping jungle gym blow up thing. I was just told only 8 at a time. So I formed a line and let 8 in at a time. it took a little while to get it a good organized flow. Once there was a good flow I was asked to man another blow up jungle gym thing. This one was much more chaotic. I was given no instructions. There was no limit to amount of children. So I stood at the end where there was a slide and regulated the kids the best I could. I figured out that I needed to instruct the children to continue the flow and not linger at the end of the slide. Some children would try to climb back up the slide. This was not safe with so many children on the blow up jungle gym thing. I was yelled at parents a lot for other kids behavior. The worst time was when I went up to direct a kid down the slide and prevent him from going backward through the blow up jungle gym thing. Well a father came and yelled at me and told me don't touch my child. While I do understand the father's concern. The father needed to a better job of watching his child. I had called out to his son many times before I attempted to help him. This man was accusing me of wanting to take his child. I was done with being yelled at by parents for their negligence. I told the man I was doing my job. He continued to yell at me. So I told him his son was no longer welcome on the blow up jungle gym things. This was not the only parent who tried to make the blow up jungle gym thing their babysitter. One mother, although she did try to control her kids, allowed her son to go on the blow up jungle gym thing with a bloody foot. So I had to shut it down and disinfect the blow up jungle gym thing. I was hard keeping children off of it because parents kept telling their kids they could go on it. A sarcastic wow is appropriate at this point.
It was very frustrating to be yelled at for volunteering my holiday to help other have a good time for free. I do enjoy serving others but would expect that the parents would be the difficult ones to control. I thought it would be the children, however, it was the children who minded the best. Once again a sarcastic Wow appropriate. After I ate much later in the day, at about 8:30 I felt better about my day and realized I had more fun than frustration. My 4th was a success.

5 Kilometers, One Hill and a Crashing iPod.

So I ran my first race it was great. I can't say the run was actually fun, cuz it was so hard for me. I will say this though it felt good at that end. I prepared the night before my clip was on my shoe, clothes were ready, and I went to bed early. So the race came, I started out way too strong. It was just too crowded with people, I had to get out of there. I kept a strong pace for about a mile and half. Even though I was running at a good pace this little 8 year old girl passed me. She ran so effortless and with perfect form. Then the worst thing happened... my iPod crashed! As many of you know about my iPod going to heaven (if you don't read the public service announcement). I was able to revive it and its hanging on. Once my iPod died that was it. The race started to get hard and I slowed down. As I was coming up that blasted hill I thought many times I can't do this and was going to walk. I pushed forward. I kept running... slow. Then I was almost at the finish and my friend Jeff caught up. I thought he had past me by then. As we were trying to finish strong some other 8 year old girl passed us. We finished the race strong and with the exact time. Now my goal was to get under 24 minutes. Well I completely failed. My time was 25:38. I may not have achieved my goal but I finished my first race. So enjoy the pictures. The blond guy is my good friend Jeff.