My disagreement lies with the tone of that post and the previous one. Both seem to dictate to reader what will make it better for an individual. The ambiguity does not only allow the message to be heard to mormons and non-mormons or mormons who have opted out of celibacy. Ambiguity provides a platform for the intended viewers to decide how it can get better in their lives. The self empowerment can help an individual who has been told how he or she should live to break free and think for him or herself. That is something that is important for the good mormon boys and girls to do, or at least in my opinion. Like you said in this post there are people who don't really fit into the path the church gives and the church doesn't offer real solutions for them. So the individual has to look at their path more meticulously to know how to govern their lives, if they want to stay connected with the church.
The reasons you state that it gets better seem too conclusive and simple. Leaving the church isn't always easy. As a person who grew up LDS, being LDS is apart of my identity. Also there are many doctrines that I personally feel are true with in the church, as well as events pertaining to the church's creation. Because the church teaches once you have a testimony of one then you have a testimony of all, it makes it hard to go against the current policies. What makes it better for an individual with in the church who wants to stay with in the church is very complex. For me personally making it better not only involves my relationship with the church, but relationships with my family. While I need to learn and am learning how to better "tune out the haters," I also want to help specific haters change from that hate. The haters I want to change are within my family and close friends. I am not going to push my parents or immediate family out of my life willingly. I want to help them understand me so that they can better love me as opposed to "hate this part of me." As for the church, I want the same general understanding of love to our community. So that the LGBT mormon community doesn't have this dichotomy of being gay and being mormon. I personally can not see myself being happy without both.
I questioned the reasoning of being apart of the project more than once. Kendall told me I was just keeping it real. I didn't understand the wisdom of my involvement at the time. In fact I didn't want to do it. For some reason I decided to. Yes I was depressing and there wasn't much hope in my voice. I see the wisdom of my message with the others. There is the more obvious reasoning that I would be more relatable to the struggling teen or that I grab the attention of the viewer so it doesn't become just another 'It Gets Better' video. I think that my involvement sends the message to the young person contemplating suicide that maybe for now you just have to trust the ones you love and that love you. That is what I have decided to do, trust the ones that I love me.
As I have been able to do that, things have gotten better for me. While I don't feel like things are going well enough to make the grand statement 'It Gets Better.' I am able to say that I have hope that it will get better. Since I have been shedding off the facade I created to hide myself, it comes increasingly hard to be anything but authentic. I've lied to myself and others for so long about not only my sexuality, but pain and dispair I felt through the years. And a big part of what will make it better for me is rid myself of this toxic shame I developed of years of reenforcement of the idea that I am less than human. Until I can significantly decrease that type of shame things will continue as they have been. For now I will continue to work to make it better for myself so that I can not only enjoy my life, but to help the poor souls like me make it better for themselves.
I am thankful for evolvement in this 'It Gets Better Project,' and the Kendall's Far Between project. I am thankful that I have gotten to know Kendall and been able to discuss with him. This project and learning from Kendall has really helped me to think like a person who wants to make it better as opposed to a person I pitied. It has given me more purpose to my life and drive to make my life better. And I can not thank Kendall without thanking my sister, Misty, the one who originally thought I was more likely to molest my children. If it weren't for her dedication to helping me through this depressive episode we wouldn't have changed each other. She no longer believes as a gay man that I am more likely to molest children. I know believe that someone can love me in spite of my sexuality. That is why I believe in Kendall's project. It was through understanding each other that we were able to change and understanding doesn't come without an honest, respectful dialogue.
Here are links, first being the blog I posted the comment, the other to the Far Between website:
What every faithful, same-sex attracted member of the church must know.
Far Between
Title song: Artist - My Chemical Romance; Song - Famous Last Words
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