So I know that it has been forever since I have blogged, but not too many people read it any way. So today I want to talk about cliches. People who know me know I hate cliches, even though I do use them at times. In fact me stating my hatred for cliches is probably a cliche its self. This hatred seems to be non-existent at times but I assure you that it is always there. Some things provoke this hatred and create frustration with in me.
Today the event that brought this hatred from depths of my prefrontal cortex to my hippocampus was because of Church. Church is where cliches seem to bother me the most. Although I heard cliche after cliche, I did enjoy the meeting.
The problem with cliches in this case is that they are phrases used to represent an emotion associated with a belief. The problem with such phrases in not the intent, it is that the phrase looses its impact the more it is used. When someone bears their heart to me using too many cliche phrases it feels like that person isn't really bearing their heart. Although the person maybe betraying their true feelings, the emotional impact of the their words become empty.
In the church cliches seem to be so prevalent and have some theories as to why. I think that that the church has adopted the a social normality that seemed to be prevalent during the height of the cold war. During the cold war the worst name you could call another wasn't a bitch, fag, or bastard. In fact it was the c word, a communist. Many Americans were accused of being communists just by being different. Fear entered the hearts of many Americans and so Americans became more and more similar. In the church many are called in active, less active, or apostate for being different. Those names or implications have similar effects on members of the church. A good example is a member's attire during a service. If a man has any of the following some may question his testimony in the gospel: long, trendy, or facial hair, or color on his shirt. For women people question her loyalty to the gospel because she is dresses trendy. The trend that is not accepted in our chapel is for women to where pant suits. Looking different than others provoke thoughts and feelings that the person's testimony may not be genuine. So just like in cold war days members of the church become less and less original. So cliche phrases enter the Mormon culture.
This push to be the same has everyone else has been in existence ever since the first human walked the earth and does have its place. I guess I just hate when people leave their individuality out when expressing emtions. So when I hear someone using overused phrases I have a hard time connecting with that person even though I may be able to connect to emotion or belief being betrayed. I only see the emotion not the person with the emotion. Individuality is so important otherwise God wouldn't have made us so different.
Even though I hate cliches like that stupid heart shape. Seriously a heart doesn't look like some person's ass or a women's chest. It looks so much cooler than that. Any way as I was saying, even though I hate cliches I understand why they are here and try not to judge other's based on their use of cliches but please everyone bring your individuality. I want to connect with you not relate to a cliche.
The purpose of a blog is to write your feelings and opinions. Readers come later.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I totally feel the same. It's really hard for me to just listen and feel the spirit because i feel so critical of everybody talking in cliches. Maybe I'm just a language snob... Who knows. But I agree. The Lord didn't want us to be the same - just to be ourselves and understand that the Gospel is what we should conform to, not the styles or opinions of the day. We're supposed to get to know God on a personal level, not in the way that our friends or family do. It's interesting to see how we really do depend on the opinions and the acceptable norm around us to feel secure in our world. But sometimes you have to be willing to accept and love others because of their inability to express themselves originally.
Actually, one of the things I love about my MIL is that she is a person who really uses words and tries to avoid cliche and to express herself the way she is feeling. So I guess that is an opposite example of what I'm trying to say. Sometimes when we can't see past things about people that really bother us, we have to look hard for something that impresses you about them. And then at least I find that I am able to at least respect and understand and maybe even become friends with them. It's why I decided in high school that my dad wasn't terrible, that he was at least worth respecting (I love the guy, of course, but in more of a respect way). Anyway...
Mark, without a doubt I have been waiting to read your blog and I want you to know that from the bottom of my heart, I know that you are truly a fantastic brother. I feel in every fiber of my being that you will be a wonderful patriarch of your family and father in zion, especially if your girls get to wear pants suits...yea! hehe, I tried to fit as many cliches in...but I still mean what I say...But to be clear I understand too. I think sometimes why it is hard for me when I hear "cliches" (well I am not sure if it is really cliches) or comments is that there is a lot of baggage or assumptions I make when someone says something...for example...if someone says they are Republican I automatically assume a lot about how they view different policies and even how they apply the gospel or if someone lets me know they voted for Obama...I assume different things about them. So here is a good example, someone in my ward often makes comments that makes me think she and her husband run a very strict letter of the law mormon household, similar to the rules we had growing up...well I went over to her house on Sunday and the kids were playing outside on the play set, and another was watching a secular movie...so, um that's ok with me, but I assumed, because of certain, clicheish like comments she made that she would not allow something like that...which, by the way I think is fine, so that is just to say cliches can often lead me to assume certain things about people and I try to avoid...maybe stereotype is a better word for what I am talking about, which is why I want to avoid being labeled cuz i want people to see someone who is more dynamic...anyway this comment is way too long...love ya bro!
ReplyDeleteseriously outside of Provo and UT there is a lot more diversity. Even girls in pantsuits. Sometimes there is more redundancy within age/social groups-inevitable says the anthropologist-so get out of dodge, see the world. You ever thought of joining the Peace Corps-it was so my dream!! better things came. What is your dream-what is your ideal singles ward or any ward??
ReplyDeleteMark, if there were more members of the church like you two more families would most likely be baptized while I was gone... I dont think things like colored shirts and your kids playing outside on Sunday should be reasons to judge someone, or doubt their testimony. in fact, if a person is doubting another's testimony maybe they should take a hard look at themselves..
ReplyDeletebut then again, I don't think people should be judged for their cliches. after all, they're just trying to feel the spirit and preach the gospel in the way that they have been taught. even if a person uses cliches it doesnt mean they dont have a testimony either. (i'm not implying you were saying that, just sharing an opinion)