Green Zone the worst Matt Damon movie... but where I want to be.

So this past weekend has been so great. You be thinking I'm another one of those crazy people obsessed with General Conference. The truth is General Conference did play a role, but because a talk spoke to me or because I was in the same room as the Prophet. No, it all started by going to my mission reunion. I went to the renunion to see my mission president and an old companion, Elder Southwick. I obviously got to see my mission president, it was at his house. Mitch didn't come though. However I did meet someone I served with but never got the opportunity to really know. We talked a bit there. I didn't think much of it. Then he messaged me later on Facebook. So I added him as a friend and did a little Facebook stalking just to learn more about him. I learned he has some of the same challenges as I do. In fact he wrote a book about. I asked for a copy. Thankfully he shared it with me.

This is when the magic happened. I read the book full of stories like mine in different stages of their journey. A couple weeks prior I had decided that I would fast for answers of how to deal with my trials. Even though I have done this many times I hoped this time would be different, because of General Conference. I have been struggling with the same questions for past few years and diligently seeking answers the past 2 years. My faith was definitely tested and many times I was frustrated.

However I received some guidance through the spirit. The thing it didn't come because I was particularly more righteous than previously. It came because that's the when it was supposed to. God helped me on his own time table for whatever reason. I'm just glad that now I have some guidance and have had my faith reaffirmed.

I still don't understand all that happened or why it was so significant. I still need time to process it all. I went from having the highest score on the OQ test (a survey I take every week for counseling), to dropping into an lower zone just in a matter of days. I don't know exactly what my life will hold from here on out but I feel like God has come back into my life. All I know is that friday morning I had my daily thought "Damn it, I'm alive." But it is now "Damn it, I hate mornings." (I don't think I will ever love getting up before the sun...) I hope this upswing, or down swing according to the OQ test, in my emotional health stays for a while. Maybe next year I'll be in the green zone of IQ test.